Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Who Wants to Sex Mutombo?

The Mavs' playoff success has put me in a very erotic mood, so erotic, I wrote a song about the most awesomely sexy moment in basketball history. I can't play guitar, and my voice is only as big as JJ Barea, so the real question is: are there any musicians out there who actually want to perform this motherfucker?






"Who Wants To Sex Mutombo?"

When I walk into bars
I don't beat around the bush
In Georgetown or Kinshasa
They know it's time for tush

So be the first to answer
This all-important question
And you'll come back to my place
For a 48-minute session

Who wants to sex Mutombo
Tonight!


I average seven cockblocks
Every single night
Swatting balls into the stands
To the crowd's delight

All my competition
Flops down to the floor
Don't they know that Euro game
Won't work here anymore

Who wants to sex Mutombo
Tonight!


George W once praised me
For my humanitarian organizations
My B-ball's Without Borders
So's my sensual imagination

Before you climb my love ladder
Of many many rungs
I'll give you oral pleasure
In at least nine different tongues

English, French, and Portuguese
Spanish and Tshiluba
Will blow across you gently
As I play you like a tuba

Who wants to sex Mutombo
Tonight!


BRIDGE:

Watch
My Rocket take off
Fly like a Hawk
Til it hits the Net
Position
Seven Six
Is how I get my kicks
I also played for the Knicks

Hey girl, do you want to play “Honorary Doctorate”?

SOME GUITAR SHIT GOES HERE!


When I wag my finger
It doesn't mean rejection
It signals that before I dunk
I must put on protection

And when I've blown my Nuggets
I'll collapse with joy
You have made Dikembe
A very happy boy

Who wants to sex Mutombo
I wanna sex Mutombo
Who wants to sex Mutombo
We all wanna sex Mutombo
Who wants to sex Mutombo
Tonight!